postrectum:

so today at school we had a sex ed presentation and the lady sexologist jokingly asked me to help demonstrate how the sex works so now I can proudly say that a 40 year old sex expert tried to get it on with me

(via omgswagyolo)

2dcc:

take me to a museum. kiss me on the steps. shove the Mona Lisa up my ass

(via megavenusaur)

mama-panther:

[cries but also keeps eyeliner intact]

(via ballyhooroyalty)

sweatyblogger:

my talents include:

  • crying
  • making bad text posts
  • ????
  • petting dogs

(via omgswagyolo)

figurants:

some people were born today. hello babies welcome to the earth. you missed a bunch of stuff while you were busy not existing. jbiebs did some things you would not believe

(Source: gooqueen, via lucashemminqs)

e-zekiel:

okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too

but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time

and then another person fell

and another

and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting

and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy

(via lucashemminqs)


x

velvetteen-rabbit:

IT WONT LET ME DELETE THE COMMENT ON THAT VIDEO WTF IS HAPPENING

wait nvrmind I got it my phone is just a piece of shit

IT WONT LET ME DELETE THE COMMENT ON THAT VIDEO WTF IS HAPPENING

<---DONT REMOVE---->